18 months ago today...

...our beautiful son was born in a faraway land. We were not there to hold him or to hear his first cries. We would not see him smile for the first time, hold his head up, or roll over for the first time on his own. In fact, we would not meet this son of ours until he was almost 10 months old. I can honestly say that although I did not physically birth him, my husband and I know that he is our true son and was supposed to be ours, from day one. I have loved this child from the beginning. I think I have loved him my whole life, it was just time that stood between us - along with thousands of miles.

People have said to me, "Oh, don't you wish you'd gotten him sooner??" Well, yes, of course I would have loved to have had him sooner and to see those infant milestones that we missed. I used to feel a sadness for him, thinking of what his life would have been like had he been with us from the beginning. But there is nothing I can do to change our adoption timeline. I have come to accept (thanks to the wise words of my dear husband), that Bear Cub's life in Russia and in his hospital, are what have made him who he is today. Do I love him today? Yes, entirely...completely....so much that it hurts sometimes. Would I want him any different than how he is today? Never. So in this regard, I am forever thankful and grateful for those first 12 months of his life in the hospital because they did shape who he is. He is a fighter, a strong boy with definite ideas and opinions, and a child who needs and accepts love openly. I could never have asked for anything more. He is our son and I cherish his beginnings, even though we were not physically a part of them.

Now with that said, I am so very proud of all of the things he has learned, accomplished, and overcome in this short time that he has been legally our son. He learned how to sit up, crawl on all fours, pull himself up, walk, jabber, smile freely, laugh openly, and love without suspicion. These are all milestones that we have witnessed and ones that will be etched into our hearts and minds forever. I know we have so many of these wonderful accomplishments to watch as his life goes on and I am forever thankful for that, as well.

So today I want to wish my Bear Cub of a son a very happy half-birthday!

18 months old today! Hooray!

Bear Cub at 9 1/2 months old - when we first met him

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Now...

Playing peek-a-boo at the kitchen table with Mama and Daddy!